|
|
|
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Voyager - April
2008 The Positive Darkside
Royd Buchele For too long, we have been split in an either/or world. Our society has taught us to see things as good or evil, right or wrong, plus or minus – - when in reality it is somewhere in between. As the father of a business client of mine once said, “We are in the world of the gray.” This “World of the Gray” -- this shade of gray is the Positive Darkside. The Positive Darkside is the middle ground between being dictatorial and being too kind. The Positive Darkside is showing your fangs when it is appropriate… killing and eating when it is appropriate, manipulating with great glee when it is necessary and virtuous. It is that side that sometimes thinks you are God. It is the side of you that does think evil thoughts angry thoughts, negative thoughts, and is able to recognize them – embrace them as yours and dance with them. There is a fear of our own Darkside that runs deep because this line of thinking truly connects us to all of our soul. Carl Jung commented on our fear of darkness. “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. All because they cannot get out of themselves and have not the slightest faith that anything useful could ever come out of their own soul.” My mother Joan used to tell me as a little boy that my father Luther “had a dark evil side”. Later in life I told him about this and he said “You know Royd, she is absolutely right.” This was a gift he and my mother gave me in that he was able to admit that he was not good or bad but both. Most of the
entertainers that we enjoy, dance with one foot in the darkside. One can enjoy a
singer’s music even though the song may be laced with the influences of heroin,
LSD, alcohol or amphetamines. Each of us has the capacity You can feel this energy oozing from the core of your being and every pore of your body. As the Profit author Kahlil Gibran said: “I sent my soul through the universe some word of after life to spell and by and by my soul returned and said ‘I myself am heaven and hell.” Rock pioneer Jerry Lee Lewis’s energy will live on in the universe – beyond time. In visiting his Nesbit, Mississippi estate you will see a large white fence that protects the property. While the Lewis estate has tried in vain to keep it clean and white it has been and will always be shockingly spray painted with odes to this great man who has truly let it all loose. It is Jerry Lee Lewis’s, Elvis’ and Johnny Cash’s (supported by visionary Sam Philip’s) positive darkside power that transmits a life force so huge that he can’t keep his white Nesbit fence from numerous spray painted messages or Elvis’ stone wall from its fan carvings. In this area between Clarksdale, Mississippi and Memphis, Tennessee where the blues met country a new absolute life was created --- a merging of black and white souls to create rock and roll. The late June Carter and Johnny Cash have proved that a hard life and dealing directly with your demons does not mean a short life but one filled with soul, grace and glory. Positive Darkside energy is used by all human beings to get were they want to go. Singer Tori Amos, in a November 1999 Pulse magazine interview, comments on the darksides of young girls who are supposed to be sugar and spice and everything nice. “I can be negotiating serious hardball for my work one minute, then the next I feel like I’m back on the playground at recess ready to put a grenade up some bitch’s ass. There are bitches in the third grade. The playground is the biggest war zone in the world.” The great mother in all forms has arrived. I am attracted to women with a negative attitude who want things because they simply feel entitled. The Positive Darkside is applied to leadership, to your life and to your marriage. I am more and more enjoying my wife Renee’s darkness. I revel in my, Renee’s and my client’s dysfunction because that is where the wealth is. Your wealth is your insanity. Appreciate your wife’s Darkside and you will appreciate her brilliance. The tendency to be “Queen of the World” in your wife should not be subverted. For long term relationships, it is important to know and accept the positive and negative darkside of your wife, partner, friend, client and business associate as well as your own. Why do I love and feel totally dedicated to Renee? Because the soul is not all light and must have the right to remain dark on its own accord.
“The new light and creativity always
comes out of the Dark Side.” As we celebrate
our positive darkside, let us give praise to the value of extravagance, excess
and opulence. All successful
people I know have at least one foot in the darkside. I am impressed with
Abraham Lincoln’s life in that he knew his grandiosity and he knew his darkness.
In his marriage he knew he loved his wife deeply, could understand her madness –
because he had craziness himself. He commented that he was both good and evil.
Lincoln knew Any successful venture in life, business or spiritual journey is colored with the shade of gray. Great company leaders have a certain craziness in them that is both joyful and terrifying. I have learned through being a consultant that many companies have had one foot in the face of bankruptcy or being shut down by the IRS. There is craziness in my own (Buchele) family that we need to be aware of but also celebrate. When the Buchele family gets together there is a high energy of love and shame present, an intense longing for success and achievement. Part of this may come from past events and part may be in the genes. The reality is there, no matter how much we may try to cleanse ourselves. It is more important to discover your giant, witch, manipulator than to falsely advocate your own kindness, vow of poverty and only being Mr. Nice Guy. To change anything requires a positive darkside slap in the face. There is a moment of transformation. The first slap that wakes a person (or an organization) from their sleep, is as needed as the slap that wakes them from the womb. Carl Jung, said “Emotion is the moment when steel meets flint and a spark is struck forth for emotion is the chief source of consciousness. There is no change from darkness to light or from inertia to movement. Without emotion, consciousness can only exist through a continual recognition of the unconscious, just as everything that lives must pass through many deaths.” There is no gain without pain. You, as a change agent, are creating a spark that sometimes hurts. As you do this, you may need to increase the emotional temperature of the organization tenfold. Visit www.thepositivedarkside.com © Royd Buchele 2008
|
Royd
Buchele has been helping leaders to reach their unlimited potential for over 20
years. Through his research, he has discovered the “missing” link to help
people to move to their next level of success. You can reach him at
517-270-1340 (USA) and visit his websites:
