Voyager - February 2008
(First published on Planetlightworker.com)

What is Perfection? Accepting the Self

Vaz Sriharan

WE HEAR THESE WORDS constantly in spiritual truths but do we truly understand its grand meaning? A dove flying high in the skies conjures up an idea of perfection - but what about the slimy worm in the ground? Is this worm just as perfect? Or are they both equally perfect, just in different ways? Consequently, when we examine our definition of perfection we find that it is warped and distorted through a polarised lens - leading to our own suffering.

By evaluating our past actions we see how we subconsciously define perfection. Whether these are past actions 10 years ago or 10 minutes ago, the process remains the same. The mind's mechanistic analysis of our past mired with fear (our insecurities) and feelings of imperfection force an impossible scenario where we should have acted or said something in a certain way that would have constituted our idealised vision of what perfection is.

Let us take an example and look at Miranda. Today Miranda goes to work as usual and as usual she criticises herself for almost every action, decision and expression she makes throughout the day. We all know this too well. If we take one of her experiences within the day, we can extrapolate the rest as a reflection of this moment to better understand the effect our definition of perfection has on our lives. When Miranda is at lunch, she arranges to meet an old friend, Katy. They have an enjoyable lunch together, reminiscing and part to go back to work. Immediately Miranda finds herself in familiar territory - chastising herself for her conversation. She criticises herself for not having asked more about Katy's baby, worrying about whether she was talking about herself a lot and analysing a particular point where she forgot the name of Katy's husband leading to much embarrassment!

This is so common to our way of life, and we are so used to thinking in this self-critical way, we believe it's normal. It's obvious here who rules Miranda - her fears! Miranda's mind utilises her already existent insecurities (fears) about herself to continue a cycle of criticism and self-doubt. Of course this reflects Miranda's lack of self-worth. Miranda's insecurities, which may include not being a good friend and/or of being judged, ultimately reflect the way she sees herself. OK, we know all this. So, let us stop for a moment and realise something - we all harbour a lack of self-worth. This is a reality. Every single person, unless enlightened, harbours feelings of worthlessness - a lack of self-love to some degree. This is important because it reflects our very understanding of ourselves, where we forget what we are composed of. Consequently, it allows us to heal ourselves in a different way. Thus our definition of what perfection is becomes important.

Here we discover we inherently assume that perfection means the good and right side of life, whilst imperfection means the bad and wrong side. All things that make us feel good must be perfect whilst all things that bring about uneasy feelings such as Miranda's embarrassing moment bring about imperfect moments. Subsequently, Miranda chastises herself for her imperfect moments. However, it is the ideology that one set of experiences is 'better' than another that causes us pain. What we must realise is that life is the good and bad, right and wrong and both are equal. It is only our minds that categorise, polarise and hierarch life into these two camps. Life just is. Experience just is.

This simple example shows that when we reminisce over a past event and find ourselves locked in a mind battle of self-criticism - it is first a sign that we are using an outdated philosophy. It is also a resounding message for us to resolve our feelings with the parts of ourselves we have distanced from - the 'bad guys' of imperfection.

So what is Bad? What is Imperfect? What constitutes a perfect moment? Is it saying exactly the right things, cracking the perfect joke, making everyone feel comfortable? What is the message here? Primarily, it reflects our need for self-approval. Ensuring everyone likes us represents our need to be liked i.e. to receive love from others. It is an underlying message to source this love from within, for only then will we truly be ourselves as we forgo our need to adapt our personalities to be liked. Of course when we adapt to suit others, we act away from our True Self, leaving us even more unstable and insecure.

However, this is also a sign that ways we do act in certain circumstances are somehow wrong, somehow imperfect. Where is this rulebook of Perfection?! That's correct, it doesn't exist - only in our minds. And we each create this book filtered through our judgements and insecurities, so in that way it is different for each of us - but only the way it is expressed. Ultimately, the root cause of this imperfection lies in our reluctance to embrace the dark side - our dark side. It is ok to fall over, to say or do something wrong - yes this is ok. Yes, it is ok to be wrong! Because there is no wrong - the key is to learn with awareness and move on fearlessly.

Integration
As we move into this new energy, there is a Divine calling for integration. A clarion call for the realisation that all things are Divine and it is through that awareness that integration emerges. Compassion is the embodiment of integration. Compassion sees the purpose of the Light and the Dark.

The parts of your Self that are insecure - that lash out, embarrass you, say the 'wrong' thing - are a part of you! They are the Divine Dark parts of your Self. They have just as much a right to existence and space and attention as the Divine Light parts. If you look at these parts like children, you realise how you have truly been treating yourself. The parts of you that you ignore are children whom you hide in a room in your house because they've misbehaved. You don't let them out and you shout at them when they do emerge. You are ashamed of them and hope no one else sees them either - but all they seek is expression and attention, so that they can be transformed with your love. These children don't know any better and will not know any better unless we give them the time and love they deserve.

The key to balance and peace of mind is to see all parts of your Self in Love. As we move away from old polarised models of thinking we realise that every single part of us is Divine in its own way and every single part has its Divine purpose. It is impossible to put these parts in a hierarchy saying the Dark parts are on the low end of the spectrum whilst the Light are on the top end - because the Divine Dark parts have a purpose just as significant as the Divine Light!

Let us look at the enchanted story of Romeo & Juliet. Here we can see a powerful reflection of Life. It is one of the most well-known masterpieces, the tangled twist of love and hope, emotion and innocence that ends in tragedy. The tale is so powerful that it has been replicated by stories and movies for centuries following. And no doubt it has been told in various forms prior to Shakespeare's times as well. However, to take the tragedy out of the story and to give it a Hollywood ending, so to speak, would completely change the essence of the story - and its meaning and purpose about life. It would deny what we all experience in life. It is symbolic of our daily struggle and shows the reality of life - the highs and the lows that make up existence. The imperfections in life - the tragedy, the pitfalls - are part of life's grandeur. It is the Dark silhouetting the Light; just as the Light gives meaning to the Dark. Once we overcome our dire fear of the lows and the negative then those negatives and fears don't control us! The so-called lows are part of experience. If we deny them, we deny experience - this denies ourselves and causes us pain.

You are capable of so much when you allow those parts of yourself that you deem unworthy to come to the forefront. For within those parts lie powerful strengths that are waiting to be transformed, they are also waiting to be expressed. They will turn foul if we do not give them the attention they need, they deserve. They do not understand our polarised way of thinking. They do not understand that they are 'bad' in the way that we see them to be. They just want to be expressed. It is through that you become Whole - and yourself.

Our feelings of imperfection run deep and in essence highlight a deeper feeling of not wanting to reveal ourselves. We are all inherently fearful of revealing our True selves for fear of rejection. Yet we are the ones who have rejected them in the first place, which is why we assume others will do so similarly. Consequently, we find everyone trying to be 'perfect' all the time and this creates the illusion to most of us that others are 'perfect' in the definition we have formulated. And so we enter the world and are constantly trying to present our perfections to others - we find ourselves informing others of things we have accomplished or have achieved, or we try to avoid personal questions that may reveal a part of ourselves that are insecure. Heavens forbid we might be seen as insecure!

An example of this can be seen when we look at leaders, even in the spiritual community, where we see a distorted projection of perfection. It is distorted because there is little or no essence of the Dark acknowledged as a part of this being but instead it is discussed as something that is separate. Naturally we feel disempowered. If we only see our leaders as completely balanced, happy and whole - then this will naturally make us feel the opposite when we have those opposite feelings! We feel that we have somehow failed. "How can I be spiritual, I'm angry at people? How can I be spiritual when I get jealous of my friends or get annoyed with my partner and family?" It is an illusion that being spiritual is being happy and secure all the time! Being spiritual is life. You are already spiritual! You are a spiritual being having a human experience. You are Light / Dark Creators.

There is more to say within an individual who can express their own level of darkness and insecurity to others - for this is a projection of what is really going on. And this allows each individual to be themselves and feel empowered in their own existence. This is not to say we don't need to 'work' on ourselves, to en-light-en ourselves but it is to honour the Divine Dark for its purpose in this beautiful game. This is also not to say that there are good and bad spiritual leaders! Again more polarisation. It is to say that some may serve you and others may challenge you in your thinking - but in essence all are serving you in one way or another. And this is the way to look at your life, all things serve you - just in different ways.

Integration involves seeing your past experiences as natural, which means effectively being neutral. If you are constantly trying to see yourself as perfect, with an outdated definition that this means love, light, happy - what happens when you feel otherwise? You feel like you've failed. Take the polarised mind out of the equation that desperately wants to box it into a good or bad experience and instead allow it to be just that - an experience. This will empower you. This will allow you to be you! You will discover yourself as you embrace yourself - all parts of yourself. See all the parts you usually associate with being wrong and ashamed of as being the Divine parts of your-Self. You will feel free from the shackles you have imposed upon yourself. Remember your repressed side is always being expressed - either consciously or subconsciously (through your manifestations). This is the Shadow Side. However the shadow doesn't mean all things bad about us because an individual can just as easily be repressing the good in their life and thus attract good people to reflect their shadow. Instead the shadow is the part we are not integrating. It is the Divine part of your-Self that desperately wants your attention - and love!

We must embrace our imperfection to see the perfection. Imperfection has become a dirty word, one that seems to denote a sense of wrongness. However imperfection is beautiful in a completely unique way, for it reveals the true chaotic order of the Universe. Yes there is a perfection to the way life is structured, from the way atoms revolve around each other to the way planets do the same. However, there is also an imperfection to the perfection in the way that life is a chaotic mess of creations that perfectly create the greater picture. Each person's reality chaotically blends with all others to create the greater reality.

Imperfection is the reality of the Dark Side. It is the part we love to hate. It is the bad guy of spirituality that we must learn to love! Imperfection really is our way of saying "I don't want to see, hear, feel or deal with the Dark stuff - because it's wrong". When we learn to understand that life is Light and Dark we learn what imperfection is truly about. It is simply the expression of perfection in its own way. There is no wrongness about it, for it is part of the whole. It would be like calling the Night wrong and the Day right. How can we say that?! The Night has its own different qualities that contribute to the Whole just as the Day has its own different qualities.

When you love your imperfections, you love who you truly are. Revel in your imperfection! You are imperfect. We are imperfect - and that is Perfect! Redefine what perfection means. Allow it include ALL your so-called faults. Allow Perfection to include the imperfection. Realise and recognise that ALL parts of you are Perfect.

You emanate from the same Source of Perfection as all existence - the Whole, All That Is. You cannot be anything otherwise. There is only perfection. Do you see and feel how freeing that is? You are perfection personified. Can you feel yourself being liberated? Knowing that you are allowed to be yourself? Embrace your Birthright to Be You.

Free Yourself, Love Yourself, Be Yourself.

©2008, Vaz Sriharan

Vaz Sriharan is a channel writer, spiritual activist and visionary living in London, England. Battling depression for most of his life, Vaz taught himself both psychology and spirituality in an effort to find answers to his situation. He now uses his unique blend of psycho-spirituality as well as his innate empathic abilities to help awaken others to their Divine heritage.

Vaz is founder and director of the London College of Spirituality,an international gateway for new thought, bridging together spirituality, psychology, politics, holism and science. Vaz is also organiser of the London Spirituality Group, networking spiritual explorers for the Shift.

For his personal website, visit www.warriorsoflove.com