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Voyager - February
2008 The Power of Love
Akasha Lonsdale If you read a paper, listen to the radio or watch televised news coverage, you’ll probably have heard the story of Olive Archer, or “Eleanor Rigby” as she was dubbed by the press. This has been an extra-ordinary journey that started when I was asked to conduct Olive Archer’s funeral. At 83, she had spent the last 5 years in a care home with no visitors. It was thought that she had no friends or relatives. Very little was known about her, but when I collected a photograph taken in her 20’s and looking every inch a Hollywood movie star – something moved me to take action. Surely someone must have known her…… Little did I know what that action would lead to.
Almost immediately the story was picked up by The Western Daily Press, followed by BBC Points West TV, BBC local and national radio. The Daily Mail was next followed by virtually every one of the major papers. The phone didn’t stop ringing for days. Calls were a mix of media wanting to know more and well wishers wanting to pay their tributes by sending cards, flowers and donations. Many of those who called were in tears after just reading the story. It touched people’s hearts and their generosity was overwhelming. Local people who had known Olive also contacted me with their memories of her and others wanted to come to her funeral because they couldn’t bear the thought of her being alone on her last journey. And finally some family members, who had lost contact but read the story in the national press, contacted me. At last, my mission was complete and it looked as thought there would be standing room only in the Chapel. However, that was not to be and ultimately the venue and timings were changed so that the family could keep it as a private affair. This didn’t work entirely, as several of the press found where it was being held, but what they wrote was a fitting ending to a story that had captivated people around the world. Everyone wanted to know that Olive’s life had been honoured. So why was that? Why had people been so touched and moved? I think there are various reasons. A number of people told me that they couldn’t bear to think of themselves in the same situation, alone with no visitors and then passing from this life without it being marked in some way. Some were already in that position and could see the possibility for themselves. Others were just deeply moved, as I had been. Here was this beautiful young woman who had clearly enjoyed her younger years and gone dancing with her best friend, Diana Dors, but whose life was ultimately given to looking after ill and ageing parents. The net result was a lonely old age. But when people are moved in that way, their hearts open and love pours out – and this is what happened. Think how powerful it would be if we could live our lives on a daily basis with that level of caring and compassion, because I believe that love like that moves mountains and, as a Minister I also believe that at a higher level, we are all connected. This being the case, we need to look out for one another. Olive is not unique – there are thousands of lonely people out there. A lot of them become that way when life partners die and family have moved away. The situation is not going to change. It is estimated that by the year 2030, more than 50% of the population will be over the age of 85 and with the birth rate falling steadily, we will be top heavy with older people. Already we are an ageist society – with young people often looking down their noses at older people. Those who do have the luxury of grandparent’s, often respect them more than they do their parents – it’s a generational thing and was certainly true for me as a child. Older people have a lot of wisdom to offer and usually a lot of interesting stories to tell – what they need is someone to take an interest. As Olive’s story began to mushroom, I welcomed the opportunity to talk to larger audiences about this wider issue and because of the raised awareness, local Age Concern have now recruited more workers, and other organisations are also looking to see what else can be done. However, I feel that we as community need to do more too. Do you have an elderly family member that you don’t see often? Give them a call, send them a card – show an interest. Maybe get involved with an organisation that is offering support. Personally, I believe that one of the most powerful ways forward is with inter-generational work that finds ways to bring young and old together to learn from one another. Older people can learn that not all youngsters are into bad things and younger people can learn that not all old people are boring and senile. How much better would the world be for that? And finally, because we are tending to live longer now than ever before, the third level here is how we manage ourselves. What inner resources are we building that will carry us through to frailty, old age and facing death? This is frequently an area that people don’t like to address, but we need to create inner anchors that sustain us right the way through life to the very end – no matter how that may occur. The more we work on and let go of “stuff” that no longer serves us (resentments, grudges, low self-esteem, etc), the more room we make for inner contentment and lightness of spirit. So as your journey through life, try to keep opening, softening and deepening. That way your heart will remain open and love stands a better chance of being your guide and companion. Rev. Akasha Lonsdale is an Interfaith Minister, Psychotherapist and certified Laughter Teacher. Her passion is for developing people and incorporating everyday down-to-earth spirituality in daily living. She has been effecting powerful change in people’s lives one way or another for over 30 years and brings humour, clarity, humility, authenticity, deep insight and intuition, respect, directness and non-judgement to her work. She is an experienced workshop facilitator, author of the popular self-help book “How to do life – powerful pointers for powerful living” and writer/narrator of the relaxation CD “Bliss Out – Serious Relaxation”. To read the BBC news items and more about Akasha and this article - please visit: http://www.simplydivineceremonies.com/Rev.Akasha_Lonsdale_s_News_items.html © Akasha Lonsdale 2008 On February 15th, Akasha will be our speaker at The Friends Meeting House, Euston, 7-9pm. This 2 hour, interactive talk will be based around her popular self-development book “How to do Life – powerful pointers for powerful living”. Read more here Then on
February 16th at High Holborn, Akasha is offering her workshop “The Healing
Experience™”
Her professional memberships include the Professional Speakers Association, the International Stress Management Association UK and the National Register of Hypnotherapists and Psychotherapists As an individual member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, she is bound by its ethical framework for good practice in counselling and psychotherapy and subject to the professional conduct procedure therein. She is in on-going supervision. See her profile here - or visit her website here - www.simplydivineceremonies.com
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Also
inspired by the thought, the Swindon Advertiser ran a feature asking for any
friends or family to come forward, so that Olive would have a funeral with more
than just myself as the Minister and the funeral director. 
Reverend
Akasha Lonsdale is a qualified psychotherapist, ordained Interfaith Minister
and certified Laughter Teacher. Her passion is for developing people and
incorporating everyday down-to-earth spirituality in daily living. She has been
effecting powerful change in people’s lives one way or another for over 30
years. What she brings to her work is humour, humility, clarity, authenticity,
deep insight and intuition, respect, directness and non-judgement. She is an
experienced workshop facilitator, author of the popular self-help book “How to
do life – powerful pointers for powerful living” and writer/narrator of the
relaxation CD “Bliss Out – Serious Relaxation”. She has also been a regular
guest on BBC Wiltshire’s “Sandy Martin at the weekend” as The
Emotional Detective and was a recent guest on BBC Radio London with
Vaz Sriharan, the young and dynamic founder of London’s latest inspiration – The
London College of Spirituality.